Thursday, May 30, 2013

When I First Decided

8 years ago I decided to live my life for God. It was a promise I made in order to be happy. Simply said, I decided that I was going to be happy. There is a truth and after learning about it I decided it was time to be happy. Despite my mistakes and problems I'd faced, it was time to be happy.

That was the decision of my baptism. Letting go of hopeless despair and depression.

The embrace of hope for, "...whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world..."

I think it's about time I've had enough of depression and pain. Of course I sometimes feel as though I left the woman of my dreams. No doubt I have a hard time believing that another will come into my life.

But it's about time. God lives. Jesus Christ lives. They're alive. I can believe in them because somewhere in all of the universe, they live.

While I am still alive it's time to be happy again. I did this for me. I did this because You live.
Eventually I found more reason to keep the promise but it started out with me.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

A Time to Pass

Summer's practically here in Utah as far as I'm concerned. The temperature has reached the peak of 80-85 degrees and we've had a bit of rain and cloudy days.
Unfortunately it seems to get hotter than expected. I'm unused to the heat and sunshine. I wonder if growing up in Alaska made me a hermit of sorts. No that can't be it. The weather down here must be broken.

I'm here in Provo with two hands full of time. Not entirely. A large portion of that time should be spent studying Arabic. Not always does that happen. Recently "not always" has been defined as almost always. But that's just the past few days.

It's one of those ruts. I've found a seemingly ideal living situation with a good friend and a change of scenery possiblized greater productivity. That was the case for a few days and now I face the challenge of too much time on my hands without a plan.

After some Netflix and a couple favorites in time-wasting websites I've decided to re-start and try this whole being productive thing once more, not for the last time I imagine. Horse of habit.

Blogging! That will help me reflect and decide to take responsibility for my lack of responsibility. So it does. Where's my journal? Oh right, still stuck somewhere in January of last year. This might be the time to fix that.

I found throughout my mission that keeping a journal reminded me daily of where I was at personally. I had no where to hide when each night I recounted what happened and what I thought. What a great thing!

I'm sure someone will be interested to hear what I think about the Arabic language as I'm studying it.

On good notes from the day I had my first speaking appointment with Mohammad from Sinai, Egypt. It was fantastic! Understanding grammar and picking apart sentences is invaluable for proficiency but when I have someone to talk with I do feel more useful. He complimented me saying that I spoke it very well. WOOHOO!! I must be doing something right (except the past few days of not really studying).

I also went swimming this morning. How could I forget that I've not exercised properly for some months now. That or swimmers are super humans. I'm not so sure but being that I breakdance I imagine that they indeed are super human. I'm going to do it again in the morning.

As for breakdancing. With how much time I seem to have this is something I need to be doing. That and playing my ukulele.

Somewhere in all of this mix I'll go out with friends and the occasional date.